A term applied to any form of play that consists mainly of rubbing, stroking, pinching or gentle pricking the skin. Often referred to as an "abrasion scene."

Play that involves taking on the role of someone of a different age than one's own.

The derivation of sexual pleasure from the giving or receipt of pain.

Choking, smothering to prevent free breathing for a determined amount of time. Some enjoy being choked while having an orgasm. Also not meant for the novice.

An abbreviation of Bondage & Discipline, which is an enjoyment of putting another into bondage and of punishing them in a highly ritualized manner or of being bound and punished ritually. The enjoyment is usually sexual, physical and mental, and often spiritual. Either the bondage or the discipline can be strictly mental or psychological, B/D does not require physical pain, although it usually does. It's almost always ritualized.

Restricting movement physically with rope, chain, cuffs, etc., or mentally through psychological control and/ or commands. It's not necessarily uncomfortable/painful, but can be. It's sometimes ritualized. Most S/Mer's and D/Ser's and all B/Der's do bondage.

A name referred to the submissive person in a scene or session or the person who things are done to during play.

A device about the size of an erect penis, designed to be inserted into the anus. Normally, these are designed with a large flange to prevent the plug from entering completely into the rectum. Used for erotic physical stimulation and as a form of mind play. A butt plug can be left in a suitably prepared rectum for extended periods of time, for instance during the day at the office.

Using a cane or thin rod as the main stimulus during scene. Often during a corporal punishment scene.

A whip with many braided tails. short for cat-o-nine tails.

The erotic use of pain of the male genitalia. Methods include squeezing, pinching, pulling, electricity, mild flagellation, etc...

The process a person goes through as he/she admits, explores and accepts his/her SM sexuality.

One of the three most important aspects of proper D/s BDSM lifestyle. All persons fully understand the potential risks of their intended and have consented to the activities. This consent can be withdrawn or modified by any at any time.

A term used to describe a form of play which one person cuts the skin of the other.

The removal of hair from the body. Usually used in reference to cold wax removal of hair.

Play involving one person training another to obey and act in a manner the person wants. Also referred to as punishment given by the Top to for a transgression by the bottom.

A person who takes the role of Dominating or controlling another.

A term used to describe symptoms of depression or anxiety which may occur after separation between a couple who has spent an extended period of time within their perspective roles within the lifestyle.

Is an abbreviation of Dominance/Submission, which is an enjoyment of having control or of being controlled by another. This enjoyment is usually sexual, mental and physical, and often spiritual. D/S does not involve pain in and of itself. (That's Sadism.) It's almost always ritualized. Dominants control and Submissive’s are controlled.

Use of electricity to create a physical response from the recipient. Generally a violet wand or Tens Unit are used for such play their effects are harmless provided used in proper fashion. AC current is never recommended and is dangerous.

A chemical produced by the body to help compensate for pain or extreme duress also referred to as a Runners high, the substance is a synthetic morphine so to speak.

The use of objects as one of the preferred methods of producing sexual excitement.

The use of a flammable substance applied to a recipient and then ignited and burned away as the substance evaporates. Usually done with isopropyl alcohol. This is not meant for the novice.

The use of a device to strike another person, often with whips, paddles, canes, rods, etc.

This is a fairly recent term for a hitting implement that has a short handle and many, flat tails. It is usually made of leather. The effect of a Flogger is due to the weight of the many strands as they land, and the texture of the material used to make it.

Play in which one or more of the players take on the roles normally associated with the opposite sex.

Play where one partner makes the other feel shame and or embarrassment, such as making the other urinate in their pants in public.

A form of role play between individuals where one becomes a child and the other the adult and interact in this fashion as a parent may with their own child.

The act of enjoying, sexually or otherwise, being humiliated, beaten, bound, or otherwise made to suffer.

A term used to describe a behavioral or thought pattern which comes from participating in particular roles with in the lifestyle (i.e. The Dominant is in his or her Dom Mindset).

The "new breed" of SM player, armed with knowledge of safe sane and consensual play. Far more likely to switch from Top to bottom (and back) than players would have two decades ago. Also, more likely to involve spirituality in their SM play.

Someone learning about the D/s lifestyle and or BDSM play.

The name of a group formed within the gay leather community shortly after world war II, combining military formalities and European protocols to produce a structured BDSM culture. With high standards and a chain of command in which one would proceed with in the Old Guard Community, they formed the basic principles adhered to in many current D/s communities.

Play involving striking another with a rigid item, such as a paddle or hairbrush, usually on the buttocks.

The limitations of a person's body with respect to a scene. Some people have physical conditions (such as not being able to stand in one place for too long) that stop them from enduring the physical strain put upon them during a scene.

The act of enjoying, sexually or otherwise, causing someone to be humiliated, beaten, bound or otherwise made to suffer.

A term coined by Richard Von Krafft-Ebing to describe both the activities of sadism and masochism.

All players have taken the necessary precautions to prevent psychological and physical damage to themselves, including the transmission of disease.

A chosen word or specific action which when used signals for all activities to stop. Most commonly used during sessions or scenes when a bottom has reached a point where they can not continue any further.

All participants are in full possession of their mental faculties and are fully aware of the risks involved in the play that they intend.

The use of bodily waste as apart of a scene or session,.. generally in humiliation play. For health reasons it is not recommended. though some do enjoy this form of play.

A scene is any interaction between two players, be it a fleeting glance across the bar or a full weekend in the playroom.

A role that may be taken up for a short scene or a prolonged relationship where the submissive partner submits to one or more others.

Hitting the body with the flat of the hand... usually the buttocks.

Is an abbreviation of Sadomasochism, which is an enjoyment of giving or receiving mental and/or physical pain. This enjoyment can be sexual, physical, mental, spiritual or a combination of some or all of these. It's usually ritualized. Sadists give and Masochists receive pain. (Note: See D/S for control. See Bondage or B/D for binding.)

A person who submits to the control of another (also known as a bottom or slave).

A state or condition generally brought about through a session involving pain of sorts cause the release of endorphins in the bottoms body creating a europhoric state.

Any activity in which the bottom is suspended upright, upside down or otherwise.

A person who enjoys both Active and Reactive roles within the Scene, each at a different time, switching because of planning, stimulation or on cue, depending on the circumstances and/or on the relationship.

Play primarily involving involving the stimulation of the nipples with clamps, toothbrushes, teeth, etc...

A name referred to the Dominant person in a session or scene.

Webster's - Extreme pain; anguish of body or mind; pain; agony; torment; as, torture of mind. Especially, severe pain inflicted judicially, either as punishment for a crime, or for the purpose of extorting a confession from an accused person, as by water or fire, by the boot or thumb kin, or by the rack or wheel. The use of erotic pain (without injury) during a scene.

A term used to describe non D/s and BDSM play or players, participants or lifestylers.

The use of fairly flexible instruments, such as cat-o-nine tails and floggers to produce erotic pain during a scene.

A term that refers to the unintended wrapping of the end of the body of the bottom and landing on the side or front of the body. Often leaves marks on the bottom. In bondage play, can refer to using strips of material (bandage, rubber, etc.) to wrap the body of the bottom, sometimes in the style of an Egyptian mummy.