What is The Difference Between A Slave And A Submissive?
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An interesting question to say the least. And a dangerous question as well. The submissive is a thing of beauty, be it male or female. They are also very brave individuals. What courage do you think it takes to place your trust, your absolute trust in someone? Great courage. I feel the easiest way to begin this is to look at the similarities between the two titles in question. First and most importantly they are both based on the same principle. Trust. Without trust in the lifestyle relationship, there is nothing. Both serve, and seek to serve. Both are empty without the guide that leads, and need training to serve properly. They are comfortable with the trappings of the scene. They both wear collars in one form or another and both offer some form of “worship” to their Master. There a many other things that both do, but this is an article not a book. The submissive has an unique situation. It is freedom in bondage so to speak. Does a submissive serve? Yes of course. And the submissive is usually collared and “owned”. However in this forum the word owned takes on a new meaning. It is actually closer to possessed. Owned denotes total control, which in the case of being an collared submissive, is not true. The collar in this case shows a “territorial right” of the Master. A hands off sign to others. Or, a symbol of the Master himself. Webster's defines submission in the following terms; “The state or quality of being submissive; acknowledgment of inferiority or dependence; humble or suppliant behavior; meekness; resignation; obedience.” I chose this definition because it most accurately shows the meaning of the word in the context we are exploring. In the training I have received, the above words are chiseled in stone. Each and every submissive and slave should render them upon their soul. Make them their “rules to live by”. This definition is also a part of the basis of the slave as well. However this is where the slave and the submissive begin to part company. As I said earlier, the submissive is not owned but possessed. To better understand the difference, one must first under stand how that type of relationship is formed. There is a negotiation that takes place between the Master and the prospective submissive before an agreement or contract is agreed upon. The submissive will outline the areas where the Master will have influence, and where he will not. It will also indicate and define what the Master can and, more importantly, cannot do. In most cases a contract of some form or another is drawn up to be agreed upon and signed by both. There is usually a time period to the length of the contract, and several aspects during the term of it are always negotiable. The key point here is that the submissive is allowing the Master to control only certain aspects of it's life. It will retain an identity separate and apart from that of the D&s lifestyle. This does not make the submissive any less of a servant in the world we've chosen to live in. I have seen many a submissive who make the chosen lifestyle slave look like a light weight, inexperienced rube. Again understand I believe submission is beauty incarnate. To better understand where we have gone so far, let's look at the other point of the question, the position of the slave. Webster's defines slave in the following terms;“ A bond servant divested of all freedom and personal rights; a human being who is owned by and wholly subject to the will of another, as by capture, purchase, or birth.” There is really no better explanation of the word and meaning of slave than that in the dictionary and presented here. Here the differences will become a whole lot clearer. Again, as with the submissive, the person who becomes a slave is a thing of beauty. It is also a lot harder on the individual and not all are called to this form of the lifestyle, and believe me it is a calling. Read the definition. Understand the meaning of each individual word. It takes the meaning of trust to an entirely different level. It is not something to be entered upon lightly or frivolously by either the prospective slave or the Master. It is a tremendous responsibility to both. The control exerted upon the slave by the Master in this case is full and complete. There is no room for debate. As with the submissive, there is usually a period of negotiation which has come after long periods of training and evaluation by the Master in question. These discussions are to form the basis of the prospective slaves abilities and limits. Limits which will be oft times stretched and sometimes surpassed. Now I know what you're asking; “How can there be limits? How can there be negotiating when a person is so totally owned?” Would you like to be punished for something that you cannot absolutely do? I thought not. Unlike the submissive who has “freedom in their bondage”, the slave gives up control of all aspects their lives. The Master sets the rules which will govern the life of the slave for a much longer period of time than in the case of the submissive. It was mentioned before that the contract between a submissive and the Master is usually set for a fixed period of time to be re-negotiated and agreed upon again. In the case of the slave there is no such brief stay in the position. You are or you are not. That is why there is a time of evaluation between the Master and the applicant. It becomes the basis in what for most, if not all, is a life time of commitment. So now we may simplify things a bit. A submissive allows certain aspects of their lives to be controlled by the Master while retaining an individual identity. A slave on the other hand, turns over control of all aspects of their life. Master is the beginning and the end. The life that a slave leads is very similar to that of the course of the planets, with the Master being the sun and the slaves world revolving around that. Now having read that you may make the assumption that the submissive is less dedicated to serving it's Master. Not at all. All it means is that for the slave there is nothing, absolutely nothing else in the world other than the pleasure of the Master. While the submissive must juggle the responsibilities of life it has chosen to retain as well as the relationship it has chosen to enter upon with the Master. I said earlier that this was an interesting question, and a dangerous one as well. I said that this is a calling, and not all are called. There is where the danger lies. In this world of sexually transmitted diseases, such as HIV and AIDS, our lifestyle, it seems, is en vogue. Is there a place for all in this world in which we've chosen to live? No. There is the place for the devotee, and the voyeur, the Dom and the Domme, the slave and the submissive, the Master and of course the Mistress. But this is no place for the faint of heart or the con man out for a quick lay who's playing at this life and mocking it in the same breath. Here is the danger I was speaking of earlier. Ignorance. I called the words submissive and slave titles, and rightly so. They are so much more than words, and should not be trivialized and made labels. These are things that one aspires to, are born to. However in this world properly identifying oneself to others is very important if one wishes to be taken seriously. What would your opinion as a Master be of a person who applies to be a slave, and then wishes to set limitations on the amount of control you as a Master may have? It is like someone who calls himself a Master with out actually being one. The word Master itself denotes mastery of something; Webster's defines Master in the following terms;“ a man who rules others or has control, authority, or power over something; specifically, (a) a man who is head of a household or institution;...(c) an owner of an animal or slave........ a person very skilled and able in some work, profession, science, etc.; expert; specifically, (a) a skilled workman or craftsman qualified to follow his trade independently; (b) an artist regarded as great” So also do not take the titles of those above you lightly, or give them freely. They are earned as are the titles of the submissive and slave. Some would argue that they are actually a state of being, I disagree. One may have submissive tendencies, yet be so assertive that it defies the definition. Someone can be slave like, yet be as free spirited and defiant as the wild mustang. So too are the tittles of Master and Mistress. Each earned. Aspired to. One does not buy a whip and be considered a Master. Try mastering the tool first. Now isn’t that a novel concept? These are titles earned through hard work and study. A title given by your peers. A title of respect earned from the submissive and the slave, not extracted. And so we have hopefully made the journey to the explanation of the subject in question without losing or offending anyone. The lifestyle we live is a very fluid thing. It can become so many different things to so many different people. Like with the lives of the submissive and the slave overlapping in some areas. You can mix and match the things discussed in this article to suit your individual situation. The things I have presented to you here have a basis in tradition. A tradition going back hundreds of years. There are marked differences in the forms of the lifestyle between the United States and Europe, and the world at large. The American venue of the lifestyle is built on traditions that came to this country from Europe just prior to the turn of this century. Over the years it has taken on it’s own unique form recognizable throughout the world. The European customs and styles are based on customs covering at least eight hundred years of tradition. Neither is the “right” or correct form. They are a basis from which to begin, to learn. So take this and learn from it. Question it. Dissect it. I firmly believe that all topics in this arena of life should foster more questions, and that the answers should do the same. The questioning continues, and that is how we learn. <the information in this document was not authored by me but rather sent to me and thought you would find it useful>
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